


Trapped

by karamel_dreams



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, Insanity, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-06 16:23:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14060793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karamel_dreams/pseuds/karamel_dreams
Summary: Mon-El was supposed to be gone again and Kara was supposed to be moving on with her life. But then a ghost of the past came back and messed it all up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags guys, they're there for a reason.

Kara heard the hand coming her way before she felt it slapping her face and making it turn to the side forcefully. She granted at the sting, grimaced at the bitter taste on her tongue, and clenched her tied fists at the base of her back. She kept her head turned, her eyes glaring at the ground as she felt a cold blade slicing through her skin, marking her. The pain was there, hot and constant and randomly bursting into sharp pangs, but she didn't react to it, she couldn't. The only thing she could do was tighten her jaw and breathe deeply, fighting the urge to scream her lungs raw.

She didn't know how she'd ended up like that; bound to a chair, immobilized, surrounded by green. All she could remember was investigating an old warehouse that Winn had detected a spaceship of unknown origin in. All it was supposed to be was a simple check, to see what kind of ship that was and if they sould be worrying about it. She hadn't expected to collapse as soon as she'd stepped past the door. And she hadn't expected to open her eyes and see an equally puzzled Mon-El looking right at her, in a similar position, tied down and trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

He'd tried to speak to her, had tried to ask her what had happened, how they'd been captured and by whom, but Kara's tongue had been tied, her mouth open in a surprised gasp. He wasn't supposed to be there, he was supposed to have left, to be on his way back to the 31st century with the rest of his team. She had said goodbye to him. But instead, there he'd sat, real and alive and present, talking to her in a shaking voice. He'd been beaten, she could see the bruises blooming all over his face and his bare arms, and his skin had been glistening with sweat. And she'd been frozen, her mind refusing to believe the sight in front of her because her heart had already been consumed by his loss, by his departure.

When she snapped out of it and tried to answer him, a figure appeared between them and that hand cut her off with a smack. And that's how it all started. That's how the torture began.

—

The sun shone through the small window near the ceiling. The light filtered in and illuminated the room weakly, but the window was too high for the rays to reach the two aliens strapped to the two chairs. Morning came like that, early and distant and completely useless. If Kara couldn't reach the sunlight she couldn't absorb its radiation, therefore she couldn't get extra energy to break the kryptonite cuffs that kept her trapped. And if Mon-El couldn't reach it either, he couldn't get strong enough, he couldn't escape the lead wires tying him down. So the day began and the two remained imprisoned, each already weak and unable to find a way out.

Kara awoke with a quiet groan. She lifted her head that had been bowed, a pounding headache already making her ears ring, and she bit her bottom lip. She glanced around, taking the room in, trying to learn her surroundings. The place was mostly empty, lacking furniture and color, lacking character. There was a  staircase that lead up to a worn-looking door, its paint having faded into a sickly dull brown, chipping in places like dying leaves on a cold November morning. There was the small window on the wall to her right and then a long table pressed up against the wall to her left. Other than that she couldn't see anything and when she tried to look behind her back the stretching movement caused the kryptonite cuffs to dig into her skin. The blonde winced and pursed her lips shut when the sound echoed within the eery silence.

So Kara looked ahead again and found something else to busy her wandering gaze with. Mon-El's upper body was hunched forward, his head bowed in a similar fashion hers had been, and his hair was sticking out in all directions. She had an urge to reach out, to smooth it back in place, but before she could hurt herself again she remembered she couldn't. Glancing at her suit briefly, Kara noticed Mon-El wasn't dressed in any kind of uniform. The gray shirt stretched along with his toned muscles and his black pants had a hole above his knee. He was still in the clothes he'd left with, which meant whoever had grabbed him had done so before he'd actually gone into the Legion ship.

Oddly enough, despite the predicament they were both in, Kara felt relieved seeing Mon-El again. He hadn't left. He was still there, still with her, still in her time. No matter how hard she fought it, how loud she screamed inside her head that she shouldn't be thinking like that, her heart beat a little faster, reminding her it was still hooked up on him. She watched him and for the briefest of moments she felt a warmth in the pit of her stomach, spreading across her chest when she heard him inhale sharply.

"Mon-El," Kara called out, her voice barely louder than a whisper. She waited for him to raise his head, saw his eyes blinking until they focused on her, and then his mouth formed a pout.

Mon-El moaned quietly, adjusting in his seat, and licked his lips. "Gods, what happened?" he asked.

Kara shook her head, a crinkle appearing between her brows when his face transformed into a pained mask. "I don't know," she said. "I was supposed to check out an alien ship and the next thing I know I'm on my knees, paralyzed and in pain. When I woke up again I was tied to this chair and you were staring at me."

Mon-El nodded, acknowledging her words but not offering any kind of reply.

"What happened to you?" Kara spoke again.

Mon-El cleared his throat before opening his mouth. "I was on my way to meet my team when someone attacked me. We fought for a few minutes but then they shot me in the leg and I blacked out. I don't think it was the lead of the bullet, it doesn't affect me like that anymore, but I don't know what it was that put me down so fast," he explained.

Kara was confused as she listened to him. Who would target him like that and why? Not a lot of people knew that he was back and even less had been aware about him going away again. Reign was currently out of the question, since they had watched her with their own eyes being locked away, stripped of any powers and unable to move even an inch with all the kryptonite filling her veins and leaking from her very pores. Without her powers she'd been nothing but a shadow that had cracked right open in the hands of all the scientists working for the DEO. There was no way she could have done any of this, no way she could have escaped and managed to entrap both of them. Plus, even if she had, they'd both be dead by now, not locked inside a room with barely any grazes on their skin.

Well that was actually a lie. Mon-El had had a bullet in him last night. And she had gotten a bleeding gash expanding from the top of her thigh to the bottom. But both were gone by the morning, and now there was nothing, only bloody stains remained but no wounds to be seen, no injuries to be shown.

"What are we going to do?" Mon-El asked, his eyes flitting around, examining every inch of space his eyes reached like Kara had done before. He sighed when he failed to find any kind of opening they could possibly use to escape and let his gaze dart back to familiar blue comets.

"I have no idea," Kara breathed out, her voice as clueless as her words had just been. She swallowed hard and lowered her chin until it almost touched her chest.

"Hey," Mon-El spoke, trying to get her attention. "You've been gone for a day already, they'll come looking for you." He didn't need to mention names for her to know whom he was referring to. And he was right, she had a lot of people she could count on, even if she couldn't find a way out on her own.

Right then, a thought crossed Kara's mind and she frowned deeply. She repeated his words in her head and fully realized what he'd said. "They'll come looking for _us_ ," she corrected, "You're just as important as I am."

Mon-El's mouth quirked up a bit from one side, in a ghost of a smile that slipped away as fast as it'd appeared. He nodded slowly, agreeing, but Kara saw in his expression that he didn't mean it. He just did it for her, because it was what she expected to get in response. But he held back his words, hiding his actual feelings. Unsurprisingly, that made Kara's frown even bolder. Some habits, even after seven years, Mon-El hadn't been able to shake off it seemed. And her own ability to read him like a book, it was still there too. Maybe he hadn't changed as much as she'd previously thought after all. Maybe it was still her Mon-El, the one she'd gotten to know too well, the one she'd fallen so recklessly for. Maybe his heart was still the same, whatever that actually meant.


	2. Chapter 2

The door opened with a click. Immediately, Mon-El's eyes turned up, toward the staircase, waiting for more. Kara's own followed and they watched together as a figure appeared, someone the blonde didn't recognize.

"Who are you?" Kara demanded, her face a hardened mask, her tone sharp and steady.

The stranger chuckled, shaking his head as he observed the Kryptonian. "Why don't you ask your pretty boy over there?" he said and walked down the stairs, taking his sweet time, no rush in his movements.

"Mon-El?" Kara questioned, confused, and looked at him, waiting for an answer.

Mon-El didn't meet her gaze. He sat straight, his shoulders squaring as he tightened his jaw. "What do you want?" he said to the man.

Again, the stranger grinned, walking to them. His confidence was obvious, his arrogance annoyingly apparent. Kara didn't like him.

"You two have a lot of questions," he said, ignoring them both. "But that's not what you're here for." He stood in front of Kara, tracing her figure with his eyes, and brushed a finger along her cheek.

When she pulled away from him, disgusted and already angry, Mon-El reacted. "Don't touch her," he spat out, his voice hard and commanding.

With an eye-roll, the man twirled in his spot and faced Mon-El. "Oh, shut up," he said mockingly, feigning annoyance, and lifted a closed fist to punch the Daxamite right where a purple bruise had bloomed the previous night. It'd healed by then, but that didn't deter the stranger, quite the opposite actually, he wanted it to be there.

Kara tried to jump out of her chair, struggling against her restraints. "Don't hurt him," she said, this time softly. "Please, don't hurt him."

"I won't," came the response.

Kara nodded and sighed, her shoulders relaxing.

"I'll hurt you instead," the man decided, turning around again. He shoved his hand into his jeans pocket and pulled out a sharp, kryptonite blade. "I wonder what this can do," he almost sang, gripping the blade in his palm. Its cutting edge did nothing to him which confirmed Kara's suspicions that he was an alien too. "Let's see," he said and with a sudden motion the kryptonite pierced through the blonde's skin.

She squeezed her eyes shut and cried out, the pain growing stronger every time the man twisted the weapon and pushed it deeper into her belly. Kara felt her muscles constricting and she curled her toes, she didn't want to scream, didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

"Stop! Stop! What do you want from us?" Mon-El yelled desperately, his face twisting after every agonizing sound that slipped past Kara's lips.

The man pulled the blade out, making the blonde yelp, but the wound started closing right away. It was slow but it was something.

"I want her to writhe in pain and I want you to watch. I want you to suffer like I am. And I want her to bleed like you made my wife bleed."

"I didn't hurt Nora, I told you I didn't," Mon-El protested weakly.

"Then where is she?" the man screamed, seemingly triggered by Mon-El's calmness. "I searched everywhere, in twenty-seven planets, in two galaxies, and I found nothing. Because you killed her!"

Mon-El looked him straight in the eye. "For the last time, I didn't kill your wife, I haven't even seen Nora since you two left Earth, I don't know where she is."

The man fumed, his face flashing bright red. "You're lying," he said. "You're always lying," he punched Mon-El again, this time aiming for his ribs. A crack echoed but the man didn't stop. He attacked again and again until Mon-El struggled to find even a second to breathe between the hits.

Kara watched, her eyes becoming wet, dripping with tears. She yelled out pleadings and threats, thrashing on the chair, desperate to break free, desperate to protect Mon-El. She didn't know how strong this alien was, and although she knew Mon-El was almost as invulnerable as she was, she was scared. She heard his groans and yelps and she was just so damn scared.

A sob racked her whole body and the man stopped then, his chest heaving as he stood straight. "If you don't tell me where she is your girl is next," he said, his words threatening but his voice promising.

Mon-El stared at him with widened eyes. His breathing was deep and labored and sweat trickled down the side of his face. "I'll tell you, I'll tell you," he panted, nodding his head, afraid of angering the man further. "I'll tell you everything, Darr, just don't hurt her."

Right then, a loud noise was heard, a sudden screeching of some kind, and the man, Darr apparently, cursed under his breath. "Damn it," he said and ran up the stairs and out of the room, without another word, without an explanation.

Silence fell over them again, and the two looked at each other, one expecting answers and one not willing to give them.

Mon-El tilted his head back, his eyelids flattering closed. He caught the faintest of rays slipping in from the window and he sighed in relief. He couldn't really feel the sun, it wasn't strong enough, wasn't close enough, but Mon-El believed the opposite.

"Who's that?" Kara spoke eventually. Her cheeks were still wet from her tears and Mon-El knew it. Therefore he didn't dare look at her.

"His name is Darr," he simply said.

"Mon-El," Kara warned. "Who is that?" she asked again, pushing in a tone she knew her once lover wouldn't dare test. She wasn't sure about him now, but she decided to give it a try anyway.

It was that quiet and simmering anger he'd been so used to. That underlying disappointment he'd hated seeing on the blonde's face. Mon-El sighed in defeat, his weakness the same like it'd been seven years ago. "Darr is from a planet called Phlon, he was a member of the Legion once, his wife too."

"Nora," Kara filled in.

"Yeah," Mon-El confirmed.

"Did you actually kill her?" Kara couldn't help but ask. She didn't want to, and deep down she knew Mon-El hadn't, but still she wanted him to say it. She wanted to hear him deny it, if only just to silence the doubt inside her head, the doubt surrounding him.

"No," Mon-El answered, looking at her with big, sad eyes, not wanting to believe that Kara could actually think of him like that, like a killer.

"I knew that," Kara said, "I just-" she paused, struggling to find the right words.

"You just needed to hear it," Mon-El voiced her thoughts for her.

"Yeah," Kara nodded.

"It was summer," Mon-El started, changing the subject as he sat in his seat in a more relaxed way. "It was Jo's birthday and the Legion decided to throw a party. We rarely do things like that but the world had been quiet, we'd just signed a peace agreement between Earth and eight other planets, and we wanted to celebrate. So we organized this huge party, invited all our friends, and we drank so much," he laughed at the memory, his eyes glinting as he relived those moments in his head. "I don't even remember where we found so much alcohol, but Rokk has a tendency to surprise us like that, and so we all got shit-faced." This time they both laughed, Kara smiling as she listened to the story, finally getting to learn some pieces of his new life. "I left some people in charge of course, in case something happened and the rest of us couldn't fight. And something did happen, something bad," Mon-El's face darkened, his temporary joy dissipating. "A group of hybrids attacked our city and Darr, who'd replaced me for the day, dived head first into battle. Nora was supposed to be celebrating with us but when she heard what was going on she went to fight. I don't know the details but one of the hybrids was about to kill Darr and Nora jumped in his place and got the hit instead. She had a hole through her chest when they brought her to me," Mon-El lowered his head, a lone tear falling from his eye. He tried to hide it but Kara saw it nonetheless. Then he continued, "She was already dead by then," he finished with a choked out voice.

Kara let a couple of minutes pass, she gave Mon-El some time to calm down. "I'm sorry," she said quietly after the pause.

"So am I," Mon-El mumbled, looking at the distance, still lost in his memories. "Darr lost it after that, he blamed himself for what happened. And then I guess he kinda went crazy and started blaming me instead. His head is all twisted, I'm not sure he even remembers what  happened at this point, he's too far gone."

"So what are you going to tell him when he comes back? You said you'd tell him where she is," Kara said.

"I'll lie," Mon-El shrugged. He tried to act like he had control now, like what he'd just told her wasn't an extra weight on his shoulders, but she knew better. The sadness clang to him like second skin, and Kara saw it, and she hated it.

"You shouldn't," she advised, shaking her head. "You shouldn't lie to people like that," then her advice turned to scolding, to sheer disagreement that hinted masked judgment.

Mon-El wasn't affected though, she couldn't get through to him like that anymore. He simply rolled his eyes and released a humorless laugh. "Didn't you hear him, Kara? It's what I do," he told her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (fyi, Jo is Ultra Boy and Rokk is Cosmic Boy, both members of the Legion. Darr and Nora are made-up for the sake of this story however.)


	3. Chapter 3

"Let's try this again," Darr said, a sick smirk pulling at his lips. "Where is my wife?" he asked.

Mon-El balled up his fist as a knife lined with lead tore a straight line across his chest. There was a second one plugged into his bicep and a third peeking from his hand, which was now pinned to the table. His shirt was pulled up and shoved into his mouth to muffle his pathetic screams, as Darr had put it. And Kara was crouched in the corner, chained to the wall, her face buried in her shoulder as she sobbed.

Mon-El had lied. Darr had come back and Mon-El had lied. But Kara couldn't let him, she believed that Darr deserved the truth. And she hadn't known, when she'd revealed it, that his crazy mind wouldn't be convinced and he'd lash out. She hadn't known that Mon-El's lie would have protected them. In the end, for that mistake, she'd been the first one to pay the price. So now her skin was scarred all over, painted a sick, green color that shone bright in the darkness of the room.

"Let Kara go and I'll tell you," Mon-El spoke around the cloth in his mouth. It sounded muffled but comprehensible enough. He tried to negotiate, to free one of them since he'd started to accept the fact that he might not get out of that room alive, but it didn't seem to be working. It wasn't that he couldn't handle Darr, but it'd been ten days since the last time he'd taken a dosage of the cure for his lead allergy and he'd started to feel the affects of the toxic atmosphere. If he'd been exposed to the sun it wouldn't be so bad, but he hadn't, and already he'd developed a cough he couldn't shake off.

"Like hell I'm letting her go," Darr spat at Mon-El's face. "The bitch lied to me too."

Kara jerked a little at the name but otherwise remained silent. Mon-El glanced at her briefly before he glared back at Darr. At the moment he felt useless. He couldn't fight Darr, couldn't find a way to get Kara out of that mess he was the one to bring her in in the first place, and he'd failed to protect her, to keep her out of harm's way. She was wounded and in pain and it was all his fault. At that point, he really believed he was no good for her, all he did was complicate her life and put her in danger.

"Come on Mon-El," Darr became quiet again, calm and collected. He feigned a soft tone, disguised his hopelessness as prompting, and hovered over the Daxamite's throat with his knife. "Just tell me where Nora is and this will end, I'll leave you both alone."

"You know," Mon-El started, "I may be a liar, Darr, but Kara isn't. She's actually the nicest, kindest, most loving person I've ever met. She doesn't lie, and she believes everyone deserves the truth and the benefit of the doubt. That's all she gave you and you've hurt her, you have her chained on a wall when all she did was try to help you."

Darr's eyes darted to Kara as Mon-El spoke, guilt flashing in them strongly enough that he let the knife slip out of his grasp. It landed on the table with a thud but neither paid attention.

"You're punishing her for things she hasn't done, she's so good, she would never hurt you. I'm the one you want to hurt, not her," Mon-El continued after he noticed his words were affecting Darr. He held the man's gaze, not blinking, not looking away, because he wanted to keep the guilt there. It was his only chance at saving Kara and he'd be damned if he didn't take full advantage of it. "See? She's in pain, and she doesn't deserve that, you should let her go."

For a moment Mon-El believed it had actually worked, that he'd managed to reach that frail part of sanity still living within Darr. He believed that would be the end of Kara's torment. But he was wrong. Not because he'd allowed himself to hope but because he'd trusted a crazy man. He should have known better, in fact, he did.

"You're right," Darr nodded. "She doesn't deserve the pain." He took ahold of the knife again and approached her. "But you do," the alien forcefully pulled Kara into a standing position. "And nothing hurts you more than when I'm hurting her," he added, a satisfied look on his face. He unchained Kara but kept her arms tied behind her back, his knife moving to her neck this time. The blonde whimpered. "I have a cell full of that green stuff," Darr laughed, "It's going to be so fun," he enthused. He pushed Kara forward, toward the staircase, and when she resisted he hit her with the butt of the knife.

"It's okay," Kara croaked out, her eyes locked with Mon-El's. She tried to smile, although of course it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"No, no, Kara, please, please," Mon-El begged, whom he wasn't sure. He wanted to run to her but he couldn't even move. He wanted to kick Darr aside, to take her into his arms and tell her that he wouldn't let anyone hurt her ever again, but he was weak and useless, tied down and unable to do anything.

"It's okay," Kara repeated, "I love you," she said so softly, so quietly.

"Don't say that," Mon-El cried, his eyes welling up. "You can't say that," he insisted, feeling his heart twisting painfully. "All I do is hurt you."

The blonde tried to smile again. "It's worth it," she said. Darr didn't give them another moment, forcing her up the stairs while he mumbled angrily to himself. Her eyes were glued on Mon-El until the last second, until she stepped on the other side of the door, and then her pretense slipped. She was tired and afraid and as much as she'd like to believe she could try to overpower Darr, to fight him and break free, she knew it was unlikely. She tried, truth be told, to trip him with her foot and make him lose his balance enough that his grip on her loosened, but she didn't succeed. All she managed to do was piss him off more and when they reached the cell he'd talked about, he took off her cuffs with a manic laugh and let her stumble inside until her legs gave out under her weight. Kara gasped as her skin glowed green again, all the kryptonite bars surrounding her made her feel like she was going to be sick. She located a wall with blurry eyes and crawled there, needing to stay as far away from the bars as she possibly could. She gasped, waves of piercing pain accompanied by violent shivers washed over her form, and she pulled her aching body into a ball.

Darr left, and then Kara released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She wished that if the twisted man went back to torture Mon-El some more she wouldn't be able to hear his screams. She wasn't sure she could handle it.

—

Mon-El sat quietly. Now that Kara was out of the room and wasn't in immediate danger, he didn't care about what Darr chose to do to him. And honestly, now that it was only the two of them, he didn't try to tame his burning fury. He was angry, so angry. Darr had messed everything up. Mon-El was supposed to be gone by then, away from Kara and any chance of hurting her. He was supposed to be back in the 31st century, trying to fix the life this trip back in time had severely ruined. Instead, he was still in Kara's time, in Kara's life, in Kara's world. Instead, he was still trouble, still a problem, still a hindrance. He knew it, he _felt_ it. And he blamed himself, of course he did, but he blamed Darr too. Because someone who had hurt Kara so much shouldn't be allowed to live. He shouldn't be allowed to be free while she couldn't protect herself.

Mon-El clenched his jaw and his eyes turned an icy gray, almost white. "You killed Nora," he spat, "You killed your wife, you were so stupid that you couldn't protect yourself and she had to save you. Gods, I wish she hadn't, I wish she had let you die instead. Look at you, look at what you've become. You don't deserve her sacrifice, she wasted away for someone who will never be worthy of her."

"What the hell did you just say?" Darr screamed and kicked him in the stomach, making his chair flip backwards. "You lying bastard," he grabbed Mon-El's head and banged it against the floor.

Mon-El smiled through the pain, through the attack. He deserved everything he got, he knew it. Thus he didn't try to fight back. He didn't care enough to. "You're the reason Nora is dead," he repeated over and over and over, making Darr angrier, his hits stronger, until the words finally registered in the sick man's head and he grew tired. 

"I'm the reason Nora is dead," Darr said, his voice broken, his face sunken. He lifted Mon-El up by his shirt and observed him. "You're right," he muttered, the words echoing without emotion, without a heart behind them to give them substance. Mon-El's head lolled to the side, bruised and red and purple, and his breath a low whistle. Darr shook his head, disgusted by the image in front him, disgusted by his own self. He didn't want to that anymore. He wanted to run.

A minute later Mon-El was thrown into the same cell Kara was in and left there. He didn't have the strength to move, couldn't even breathe properly, although he didn't if that was because of his injuries or because his body had started shutting down from the overwhelming amount of lead in his system. He attempted to call Kara's name, tried to move beside her as she curled further into herself and whimpered, her face hidden from view, but he failed. In the end he just laied there, on the floor, exhausted and hurting, and fell asleep. It was all he could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> ps Irrelevant, but for whoever might be interested, I'm updating Save Me in about an hour.


	4. Chapter 4

When Kara woke up, still in the cell and feeling worse than she could remember, she swallowed and opened her eyes hesitantly. The space was dark, only flickers of light slipping through, but it wasn't much of an issue to her. She could still see the green around her, and even more the green glowing across her skin. What she hadn't expected to see however was Mon-El's eyes staring right at her, concerned and dull with pain. He wasn't sitting that far away from her, and Rao, did she want to scoot closer, to feel him next to her. But she was tired and too vulnerable to give in now, to surrender to the weakness that _he_ was. Instead, Kara backed into her corner, shrinking in size as much as she possibly could, like she wanted to hide, to disappear. She wrapped her arms around her bent knees, her chin resting upon them as they pressed against her chest. She was shaking, spasmodic shivers tickling her skin and disrupting the rhythm of her breaths. She felt so small at the moment, so bare and open. 

A strange echo was nudging at her, inside her head, the longer she looked at Mon-El and he didn't move his gaze either. To that, she couldn't help but give in eventually. So she opened her mouth to speak. "I miss you," she mumbled, her voice weak and hoarse. "You...you're right here but I- " she breathed, a trembling inhale that echoed, and a sob got trapped in her throat. "I miss you," she repeated. She didn't need to voice her heartbreak, her crouched form betrayed everything she didn't dare say. And as her heart was beating heavily, his own broke in two.

Mon-El shuffled closer, not touching, not invading her personal space. He just needed to feel the warmth radiating off her body. "Kara," he whispered. He looked at her with wet eyes, his brows furrowed and his forehead creasing with worry, with his own share of heartache. "Please," he said. He put his hand on the ground, in the empty space between them, his palm open, his fingers reaching out.

She was noisy. Her troubled breaths breaking the silence, her sniffling a wheeze in the air, her muffled sobs an echo of pure agony. Yet he was silent. His suffering a secret well-kept. You could see the pain in his slow blinks, in his void expression, in his laconic speaking, yet you'd never know of the war inside of him hadn't you already known the man he once had been.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Kara kept saying, the apology forcing its way past her lips. It was the only thing her mouth was capable of forming, it kept tagging at her, like her heart and her mind already were. One wanted to move closer to him, to grasp him in her embrace and never let him go. The other, however, knew that he wasn't hers to hold anymore, he wasn't her person to run to when she felt like falling apart. Granted, she'd told him she loved him but that'd just been a moment of weakness, of extreme fear, it couldn't change anything. Plus, he hadn't said it back.

But then an opening appeared, one that Mon-El himself gave her. "Come here," he prompted.

She watched as his fingers twitched in a welcoming motion, and she stared at his hand, dying to reach out with her own.

"Kara," he said again and when she lifted her eyes to look at him he nodded.

"I...I can't," Kara shook her head, denying herself the single thing she wanted most at the moment. His eyes were so sad but so warm, so familiar. His voice was captivating, it weakened her resolve and fogged her mind. Nevertheless she didn't break. Kara stayed in her corner, didn't move closer, didn't dare touch him, but her gaze was trapped in his own, she couldn't look away.

Mon-El bit his lip for a second before nodding. He contemplated moving his hand back to his side but he decided against it. He stretched his legs in front of him, his toes almost touching the other side of the cell they were imprisoned in. The silence fell heavily upon them and he felt it, which is why he was desperate to break it.

"Do you remember when I told you it was okay that I was going to die because I'd gotten to kiss you?" He started. Kara listened to him with a hint of surprise and when her eyelids flattered Mon-El considered it a positive response. "When I left Earth in that pod, I thought I was going to die, but it was okay because my last words would've been a promise of how I love you," he smiled softly as he spoke, got a faraway look that lit up his entire face, and he chuckled at nothing, or perhaps something that had only existed in his head.

"I didn't think I would see you again. When I decided to marry Imra I was already mourning you," he stopped again, the pauses intense, filled with wild emotions and words said for the first time. He'd shut his eyes when he felt what he wanted to say was too heavy to utter staring into Kara's teary comets. So at will, he'd deny himself her sight, he'd block her out of his view. Why? Because looking at her hurt, it brought everything up to the surface, the truth knocking down his walls, the emotions bubbling up, burning his lips.

"I lived with the ghost of you for so long," he mumbled, one hand squeezing into a fist, his nails digging into his skin. "I lived every day expecting you to pop up in front of me, expecting you to come find me," he ran a hand through his hair, gulping down the bitter taste on his tongue. "But you didn't," he whispered, so quietly, so sad, like the realization had only just occurred to him and he didn't know what to do with it, how to feel about it. For a moment Mon-El's expression shifted into something not quite pained, not quite surprised, it was something else, something new. It was like the thought dawned on him and he couldn't even be hurt by it, like it'd made sense. He'd expected it.

"I was waiting for you to find your way back to me," Kara said back, her eyes distant, her head tilted backwards.

Mon-El released a humorless laugh. "We were both waiting," he said. He sounded disappointed. " _Just_ waiting, _only_ waiting."

Kara sighed deeply. She was tired and in pain. And she was weak, although that last one was not necessarily solely physical. She looked at Mon-El, at the side of his face, and without a word she grasped his hand in her own. She squeezed with all the strength she'd had left and waited until he turned to meet her gaze. "You know something?" she asked.

"What?" Mon-El replied.

"You did find your way back to me," she told him. She smiled shyly, although her heart was drumming behind her ribcage.

Mon-El laughed again, genuinely this time. "I did, didn't I?"

Kara wiggled closer after that, her cape tattered and dusty dragging behind her. She reached for Mon-El's cheek and pressed her fingers against his face with such desperation to touch him that if he were human he'd have finger-shaped bruises under his eyes. She brushed his hair, traced a thumb along his eyebrow, watched as he blinked slowly and looked at her with wonder and longing.

"I knew you'd come back to me," she murmured and felt him lean closer, into her touch, into her warmth, into any tiny part of her she dared offer him.

"I've missed you too," Mon-El said, his eyes closed, a tear trapped between his eyelashes. "You're right here but I miss you too," he added quietly, as if it was a secret, as if he was afraid of voicing the words.

Everything was too quiet it seemed. Their voices barely louder than a whisper, their breaths muffled and choked, pained and struggling. But they existed together, fitting so well into the other, squeezed inside kryptonite bars that hardly did anything to him but were deadly to her. Kara didn't have much strength left, it'd been slowly fading even before she'd been thrown into the cell, but she used every ounce she could still grasp to grip Mon-El close, to _feel_ his skin against hers. She noticed the green glowing brighter in her veins, threatening her, and she felt her body beginning to tremble, inevitably fighting against the wavering darkness that wanted to suck her in.

"Kara," Mon-El spoke, lifting his head and cupping her face as her eyes slipped in and out of focus. "Kara," he said again, this time more demanding. He shook her slightly and her head lolled to the side.

"I'm tired," Kara mumbled, a whine coat in her throat. Her eyelids blinked slowly, staying closed for longer than they managed to stay open, and she gripped Mon-El's shirt, using it to help her fall into him.

Mon-El caught her in his arms right away. (Of course he did.) His own head started spinning, his throat closing up as he struggled to breathe and hold back a cough at the same time. It felt like glass was ripping his lungs from the inside, like he was inhaling pure lead. At the thought his eyes widened and he tried to shake Kara harder, to wake her up because now he was barely holding onto consciousness as well. But she wouldn't wake up, she was heavily leaning against him, completely lax and unresponsive, and he didn't know what to do. For a moment he felt helpless, but then his vision started blurring and he just held onto Kara. He buried his nose in her hair, trying to catch that faint scent he never quite managed to forget, and he gave in as well. It didn't matter, the only person he could count on to save him was currently glowing green and breathing unsteadily in his embrace, and there was no one else.

They had survived but...had they really?


	5. Chapter 5

The next time Kara woke up again, with heavy eyelids and a knot right in the middle of her chest, the first thing she noticed was a dull ache stretching all over her body that made her wish she'd stayed unconscious a little longer. She inhaled deeply, testing the air and how it felt inside her lungs. If it had been filled with kryptonite dust it would have hurt, it would have her choking and coughing out blood, but she felt okay. She breathed with ease, gulping air down greedily as if she'd stayed underwater for a minute too long and had only just now broken through the surface. Then she opened her eyes hesitantly, grimacing at the sharp light that blinded her momentarily, and turned her head to observe her surroundings.

She was back at the DEO, that much she could easily figure out, but when she tried to remember how she'd gotten there she came up with nothing. It was all blank. The last thing she could remember were her troubled breaths and the way her weakened limbs had been clinging to Mon-El because he'd been the only source of comfort she had managed to find.

 _Mon-El_. She thought, the voice in her head loud and frantic all of a sudden. _Where is Mon-El?_ It screamed and Kara winced, squinting her eyes shut for a second because that'd hurt. She looked around again, her head lifting to check the whole room, and it was then that she caught a glimpse of him. He was in another room, in another bed, a diaphanous wall separating them and keeping him away from her.

Without a second thought, Kara ripped the IV line out her vein, kicked the blanket off her legs, and climbed out of the bed she'd been previously lying on. Her eyes didn't stray from him, from his unmoving figure. With slightly unsteady legs she stood, ignoring the hideous gown covering her upper half, and padded across the room. At least she had sweatpants on under that thing, she noted fleetingly.

Her bare feet barely made any sound against the cold floor and the place was strangely quiet. Kara frowned at that but she kept walking, focusing on the pattern of Mon-El's labored breathing. It sounded like he was asleep, lost into a deep, dreamless slumber, like the ones he'd slip into after long shifts at the bar or nights spent awake and loving each other through the darkest hours, through a dozen different positions... Kara smiled weakly at the memory, at the way her mind kept wandering back to happier times, but her lips quickly formed a pout. Steadily, one by one, images came back and pierced through her head with a kind of force that had her eyes widening. Flashes of blood and echoes of screams overwhelmed her. She'd been hurt, he'd been hurt too, but she was awake and Mon-El wasn't. What if he hadn't recovered, what if his own injuries were more severe than hers?

Kara inhaled deeply and approached, her hand reaching out when she stood by Mon-El's unconscious figure. When she touched him, a finger softly grazing his cheek, she let her shoulders relax a little. She gazed at him, sadness clouding her features and fogging her eyes. But she didn't let her worry take over, instead she lowered her hand from his face to his shoulder and squeezed gently, checking his responses. Kara wasn't sure whether Mon-El was incapacitated or just passed out from the pain and exhaustion, so she tried to shake him into awareness, needing to see his eyes flattering open in order to calm her racing heart.

"Mon-El?" she whispered softly, blond curls falling in  her face as she lowered her head. "Mon-El, wake up," she brushed sweaty hair away from his forehead and used another hand to move the sheet covering him. Kara knew where his latest wounds were supposed to be, she knew where to look, so when she moved the sheet to his waist and slowly lifted his shirt to expose his ribs, she was expecting to see the cut he'd gotten at his side, angry red and stitched closed.

She didn't want to stop there. She needed to see everything. But after seeing that cut Kara knew the rest hadn't healed, she knew without checking that Mon-El was sporting his fair share of scars at the moment. The thought made her stall for a second, made her check her own skin for visible wounds. But she didn't find any, hers were gone already.

"Wake up, Mon-El, come on," she said again, her attention falling on him once more. Tired from standing, Kara hopped on the mattress, right next to him. She covered him up again and took his hand, grasping it in both of her own. When she squeezed, she finally got an answer.

Mon-El inhaled sharply as he came to, his face scrunching while he became aware of his own self. Pain and numbness and haziness and confusion, all mixed together and fogged his senses, yet he felt some warmth standing out and he lingered there, chasing it, eager to find its source. He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was blue, a shade so familiar, so comforting, he immediately felt at ease.

"Hey you," Kara spoke softly, her tone low, and rubbed a thumb across Mon-El's hand. "There you are," she smiled when he finally focused on her and recognized whom he was looking at.

"Kara," Mon-El croaked out, his voice weak and scratchy from disuse. Or maybe it was from his screams and coughing, but Kara didn't want to think about that, she didn't even know how long they'd been back in the DEO for.

"I'm here," the blonde reassured, "Are you okay?" she couldn't help but ask.

Mon-El nodded slowly, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. "It's hazy," he said, unsure and quiet. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Kara replied, "I just woke up and I couldn't see you, I got worried."

"You passed out on me," Mon-El recalled, his mind still catching up. He sat up, groaning at the movement, and searched Kara's body with his eyes. "You're not green," he realized with a relieved sigh.

"I'm not, I'm almost healed," the blonde informed him.

Mon-El nodded again, his eyelids falling shut for a long second before he looked back at Kara. "I didn't think-" he started, the words heavy on his tongue. He paused and swallowed and wiggled a bit to sit more comfortably. "I didn't think we'd get out of there alive. It's all my fault, I'm sorry," he said.

"Stop," Kara shook her head. "Stop blaming yourself all the time, there was no way you could know Darr would show up and do what he did."

Mon-El looked away and stayed silent, not offering any kind of response to the blonde. His head was still left behind, still swamped by images and sounds and events that he knew he'd never be able to forget. "All I do is hurt you," he mumbled the same words he'd told her when Darr had dragged her out of that room and away from him.

He said the words with such guilt, such accusation, such pain, that Kara was left breathless and lightheaded. She didn't like it that that was what he thought of their relationship, or whatever remnants of it had been salvaged. She didn't like that he shouldered the blame for all the heartbreak she'd endured, all the danger she'd been in, like he hadn't fought the same demons, like he hadn't cried the same tears.

"Mon-El," she said, reaching out to cup his cheek with her palm like she would _before_ _._ She stroked her thumb across his skin, prompting his eyes to meet her own, and leaned closer. There were boundaries and rails and distance and pain and a hundred other things between them, keeping them apart, yet Kara ignored everything but her heart screaming his name and his own that she could hear pounding inside his chest. She held onto him like there was nothing beyond that very moment, beyond the need for each other they were both trying to fight. If Mon-El backed away, if he pulled away from her touch, she would let him go. She'd step away and just let him be. But he didn't and it didn't seem like he was going to either. To her, despite all those days she'd spent thinking the love had been lost from his eyes, at that particular moment it looked like it'd been reborn. Or perhaps it was only then that Kara let herself see it again, recognize it again. It was then that she accepted that love he held was meant for her, was directed to her, and not anyone else. So she clang, and she gripped, and she held him there, captive in her gaze, in her touch, in her presence. She didn't dare loosen her grasp, she was too afraid to do so.

"You haven't hurt me more than I have hurt you. You've been in danger and you've been injured so many times because of me. I even abandoned you, I chose to send you away, and all that is on me, not on you. I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm the one who should be staying away. I can do it, but you haven't asked me to, so I'm asking you now, do you want me to stay away?" Kara retracted her hand from his face, preparing for the answer, for the possibility of it not being what she'd rather hear. Before he'd left, before he'd announced that there was no reason for the legion to stay in her time any longer, no reason for _him_ to be around her anymore, she hadn't asked him what he'd wanted. She hadn't gathered the courage to sit down and talk to him, ask him about his new life, about his new team, his new family. She hadn't asked him if his world wasn't so perfect as she'd assumed, if there was any part of him that wished to stay. She hadn't told him that he _could_ stay if he wanted to, if he chose to. She hadn't told him and she'd regretted it, and so she couldn't make the same mistake twice. She had to ask him now.

"I don't want to be a problem for you anymore," Mon-El said, straying from the topic, withholding the clear answer Kara was seeking.

The blonde sighed. "You've never been a problem," she said, "I loved you and I should've chosen you. I never wanted to let you go."

Mon-El nodded at that, leaning closer as Kara did the same. Slowly their foreheads touched and their eyes shut. An ocean of emotions got trapped in the tiny space between them, silent words flowing between shared breaths, months of heartbreak and years of loss soaked their eyelashes and rolled down their cheeks, silently and quickly enough that when their eyes opened again there was nothing to betray the two.

"I chose you," Mon-El said. "I was going to go into the legion ship and tell them that I couldn't go with them, that here is where I belong. I was going to say goodbye and come back to you. I chose you. Before Darr, before you got hurt, before I blamed myself, I chose you." The words echoed, their weight felt by both. Kara's lips parted but she didn't say anything, she couldn't. And so Mon-El lifted a hand and cupped her face, he waited a second in case Kara wanted to pull away, and then he kissed her. With everything he had and everything he'd been holding on for years, with all the love he'd been clinging to and had forced himself to disguise, with all the loss and hopelessness and pain he had felt since he flew away, he kissed her. And Kara kissed him back, just as desperately, just as greedily, just as willingly. She kissed him to say everything her mouth wouldn't, to apologize, to promise, to explain. She kissed him to say 'thank you', to say 'I love you', to say 'I want you back'. And she kissed him because she needed it, because she'd been starved of him for way too long, because she had missed him too much to put into words. It was messy, it was needy, it was loud. Sometimes their teeth clanked instead of their lips, sometimes one dived in hungry for more while the other had run out of air and needed to breathe, sometimes they were in perfect unison, in perfect synchrony with each other and didn't want the moment to end. But it did. Because now they had time, for kisses and moans and tears and everything in between.

 _They_ _had_ _time_ _._

"Didn't I tell you they would kiss before the end of the week?" Alex ruined the moment when she spoke up from her spot at the door. She outstretched a hand, her palm open, and threw a glance behind her back at Winn. "Pay up," she said, watching her sister get her smile back **_at_ _last_**. Alex grinned herself at the sight that had greeted her when she came to check on the two aliens. She hadn't expected them to be awake, let alone sucking each other's faces, but she didn't mind the surprise. After such an eventful couple of days; Mon-El leaving, Kara missing, Alex finding them together bloody and tortured in a tangled mess, this was the best way to cue the ending credits. Plus, she'd just won herself fifty bucks!

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a kudos. Write a comment. Don't just leave like that!


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